This is the story of an angry customer (me) being talked off the ledge by an empowered customer service agent.

So I spent yesterday morning (and I mean all morning) trying to work out a bill with a major cellular phone carrier. My issue was that I sent a cancellation letter back in May for a data card that we hadn't used in several months. (A data card is something that you typically plug into a laptop computer to gain Internet access through your cellular provider).

I had only waited until May because when I called in March, I was told that I would incur early termination fees if I didn't wait until at least the end of April. I'm not quite sure why they couldn't just put on file that my contract should end at that time and I didn't want to continue. Actually...I am sure. It's a tactic to get customers to forget about the cancelation and keep paying. But I digress...

So in May, I sent a signed letter on letterhead with my payment confirming my conversation from March, indicating that this served as my final payment. However, they kept billing me.

So I call and speak with someone in the finance department because we'd stopped paying back in May so I'm now way past due on the account. I don't want the card and don't care if it's suspended but I also don't want this silliness to continue.

First, I have to remember the phone number for a device that didn't act as a phone. Ever the prepared guy (so long as my wife prepares me), I have the file in hand. Now the representative asks me for my "PIN" number.

Seriously? I have a PIN number for a cell phone account? How about a password or something I could remember?

I can't remember a PIN but I can remember my first dog's name so now I'm in business. I explain the situation to the person in the finance department. He says "I can understand your frustration sir, let me transfer you to Account Services." He transfers me to Account Services.

Now we begin with the Account Services representative. I give my phone number and my first dog's name after I once again can't remember my PIN number and I explain the whole story of my call and subsequent letter. The representative is nice enough and says she needs to get her supervisor.

Click hmm...Time for round 2.

So I call the customer service number and get routed to finance. I give them my phone number and my first dog's name (you know why) and explain my story about calling and sending a letter. "Oh, I'll need to transfer you to Account Services." In my most polite, calm voice I am agreeable to the transfer.

I speak with Account Services rep #2, give my phone number and first dog's name, and explain the whole series of events.

Ironically, I have to plug power into my mobile phone from another carrier because the battery is going dead from being on the phone for this long.

Account Services Rep #2 puts me on hold to consult his supervisor and then indicates that he'll need to transfer me to HCR Finance. Who the heck is HCR Finance?

Me: "I just spoke with Finance (twice) to get to you." Acct Rep #2: "Oh, that wasn't this finance. HCR finance is different." Me: "What does HCR stand for?" Acct Rep #2: "They just give us the initials. I don't know what it stands for."

Secretly I'm thinking I've entered the Hostile Customer Representative Finance Department

Now I go to HCR Finance. Phone number; dog's name; story. "Oh, I'll need to transfer you to cancellations. "Sure. Let's go there."

Click hmm....

So here's where they kept their name out of this blog post.

Call #. I call the customer service line, go to Finance (normal finance). Phone number; dog's name; story.

I've become really quick at that part now

"I'll have to transfer you to Account Services." Right.

Account Services Rep #3 - phone number; dog's name; story.

"I'll handle that right now for you sir."

Now, it turns out that I didn't follow procedure to cancel my account. Who knew that an actual physical letter doesn't carry as much weight as a phone call to account services but I guess their job is to make phone the chief mechanism of business. They made an accommodation, cancelled the account.

Had they cancelled the entire amount of the bill, I'd be singing their praises here. However, a guy named Antoine that just freakin' took care of me saved yet another rant from an angry customer filling up the blogosphere with their name on it.