So I've run into a situation recently (thankfully regarding a team where I'm not the coach) where a parent indicated to the head coach (and to the other parents) that his son wouldn't be coming to a couple games on an upcoming Saturday because he felt it was too far for "exhibition" games and he wanted his son to be rested for a league game on Sunday.

This is wrong to me on a number of levels. It's one thing if a parent wants to approach the coach and voice a concern that perhaps there are too many games (a potentially very valid concern). It is a whole different thing (and extremely passive aggressive) for that parent to make it known that he doesn't agree with the scheduling that the coach has put forward and that he is keeping his son home because of it. It undercuts the authority of the coach with the other parents, his own son and (potentially) all of the players.

In terms of schedule for a season, the parent's decision point ends at "are we willing to commit to this team?" If they are, then so long as the coach/program makes clear from the outset what that commitment will be, they must buy into the schedule put forth and support the coach.

This actually points to a trend that I've noticed in the past few years in terms of youth sports. In recent years, I've noticed a growing trend toward the democratization of hockey teams. There seems to be a growing sense of entitlement on the part of parents to weigh in authoritatively on how everything from where the team should play and how often all the way to what systems should be run on ice.

My suggestion is this: we pick coaches because they are the most qualified people to run the teams. They are not perfect and we definitely encourage them to be open to other thoughts. If a coach decides not to go with your idea or thought, it doesn't mean he didn't listen. It may mean that he has a cohesive plan for the development of the team. We need to give our coaches the benefit of the doubt. It's one season that won't ruin your kid. If you're not on board, you have the opportunity to "vote with your feet" next season.

However, the key point is that the surest way to derail a season is to be an impediment to what the coach is trying to accomplish. Whether it's talking negatively about the coach's approach or, in the extreme, choosing to keep your child at home because you're not on board with the importance of the game, it all has an effect on the success or failure of that team.

As I told the parent in more direct terms than I typically use, "If I were the coach and a parent chose to arbitrarily rest their child on Saturday for the league game on Sunday, I would rest him on Sunday too in preparation for the following weekend's games."